No Refund for an Accidental Girlfriend

I threw back a shot of Jack Daniels before sinking into my couch. I'm seriously depressed because I'm already in college, and I still don't have a real boyfriend. What is wrong with me? I questioned myself in my head while staring at the ceiling. "I'm intelligent, beautiful, and sexy. People literally say that, so why do I still not have a boyfriend?" It's because your standards are too high. My mind answered. "That's not true! I only want somebody who can protect me, love me, handsome, rich, and a gentleman" Which is basically impossible to find these days. My mind cut in. I groaned out of frustration before taking one more shot. Nobody at school knows I never had a real boyfriend, and even worse, I'm still a virgin. I'm popular in school, plenty of guys chased after me, but none of them are my type because they all failed to catch my attention. I sighed again as I drank my 9th shot, I wanna be drunk, having the perfect boyfriend is a big deal to me because if I still don't have one before I graduate college, my parents will engage me to some man I've never even met, and I refuse to let that happen. I got up after that with the bottle of Jack Daniels and walked to my study room. I checked my email to see if anybody messaged me when a certain ad caught my attention. MAKE A WISH HERE! GRANTED IN 24 HOURS! I clicked the link and got sent to their website, and the homepage looked boring because everything was black. "This is absurd," I mumbled. I was close to closing the page when a pop-up message appeared all of a sudden.